yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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