I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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