LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize