Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
