No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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