So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
