I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
