You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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