Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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