he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
