I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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