You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
