just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
