yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
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I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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