Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
