i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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