Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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