it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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