the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
