that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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