Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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