dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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