Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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