I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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