whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
