After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
