Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
