I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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