so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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