Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
