He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
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Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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