I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
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It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
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My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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