I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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