Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
