If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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