Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i already hear my dad disowning me
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
