member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She even gives head with a lisp.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
whose parrot is this?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
