I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize