No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
