Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
