my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize