He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize