:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
