i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
