I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
