i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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