I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
