If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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