It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
