Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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