I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize