I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
