I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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