k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize