Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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