Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I CAN MOONWALK!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
