That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I need to calm my uterus...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
