if only i could text you this smell
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
