Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize