didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i dont even know how to be here
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
